I don't believe in the Devil, but if I did I would call it Facebook. As many marvellous qualities as it may have, the capacity for political intrigue and subsequent scandal is enormous. And frightening. A few weeks ago I had a long commenting session with Archange, regarding his dodgy use of linguistics when he described a scene from a movie as being "consensual rape". I pointed out the oxymoronic nature of this phrase and a pedantic debate ensued, which went on for a mammoth 25-odd comments. At about comment 20, a friend of Archange (let's call her Alex after Glenn Close's character in Fatal Attraction, because the state of her psychological health will later come into question...) butted in all of a sudden and essentially told me that my arguments were all rubbish. Woe betide the fool who thinks they can dismiss an argument of mine and that that will be the end of it... So, of course, I responded with a very rational break-down of my position. Alex then complained about the length of my comment and rather patronisingly called for someone to give her the gist of it, saying something like "Geez, this was supposed to be a laugh...". The whole debacle ended with me pointing out that it was a laugh at one stage (restraining myself from highlighting the fact that she was the one who killed the mirth...)
Then a couple of nights ago, Alex rears her ugly head yet again. Archange had published a status update about wanting a Peter Andre doll for Christmas (he's a strange man with a sudden Andre fixation, no doubt substantiated with a heavy dose of irony) and I found a picture of such a doll, posted it as a comment and made some flippant remark about the doll having the same scary look in the eyes as Archange. Alex then kicks off with a huge rant asking me at what point I saw that look in Archange's eyes, how well I knew him, what his flat looks like, and a whole load of other random comments implying that I know Archange in the biblical sense etc etc. Lordy, even when Claviers accuses me of sleeping with Archange he doesn't go that far...
I had to read her comment several times before I actually believed that she was saying what she was saying. I could only respond with "Eh?!", since anything else would seem to dignify her spack-out. Clever girl removed the comment overnight (possibly before Archange got to it) but is now suddenly very active on Archange's Facebook page.
The ironic thing about it all is, of course, that she is more than welcome to Archange. And the truly sad thing about it is this whole territorial, sperm-grabbing instinct within women that is giving me no end of problems at the moment. It wasn't an issue when I was with Claviers or, if it was for any other women I encountered, I simply didn't notice. Now that I'm single, I'm back in the midst of political inter-plays between men and women, with Facebook only adding fuel to the fire. I remember how irritating it always was, being someone who genuinely enjoys having a good conversation with an intelligent man, only to find myself despised by other women who find me a threat - when I thought I was just having a good conversation with another human being. And I shake my weary head at the fact that, for all our claims that we as human beings are now 'civilised' and 'evolved', most humans are still letting their blood and biology take precedence over their brains.
Meanwhile, speaking of blood vs brains, my approach to Mon Amore has shifted after deep consideration of the facts. Just to clarify, the facts are:
* I am in love with Mon Amore
* Mon Amore appears feel some semblance of something for me (whether this is more than just a fancy, I cannot say - but there is definitely something there)
* I am single
* Mon Amore is single (to the absolute best of my knowledge)
* Mon Amore and Claviers are friends and band-mates, therefore Mon Amore is technically unavailable to me - for those of us with a strong sense of morality, friends/relatives of an ex are out of bounds
Up until a couple of days ago, the situation was all tied up and finished at that point: you just don't go out with a friend of your ex.
However, the acknowledgment of the following facts...
* Claviers is now with Bâiller and I will no doubt continue to suffer the indignity of her knitted, mediocre presence at gigs and other social functions (whilst simultaneously trying to repress my feelings for Mon Amore)
* Claviers has been a massive dick to me recently and, although he has apologised for his behaviour over the foot thing, doesn't appear to have taken on just how much of a dick he was - therefore the apology is pretty hollow
* There is a version of reality in which Mon Amore and myself are blissfully happy together - this is an ultimately good version of reality
...has led me to think that the most important thing is to establish the position of Mon Amore. If he doesn't want me in that way, then I have to move on (easier said than done but possible with time and effort) However, if he DOES then that lovely version of reality becomes ever closer and one can then work on another important facet of that reality, namely Claviers being fine with it all and everyone being happy.
It could, of course, all go horribly wrong. But if I can deal with Glenn Close attacks on Facebook I'm sure I can deal with this...
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